


Bleeding Out

by On_the_Side_of_the_Angels



Series: When the Sky is Grey [1]
Category: Sherlock (TV), Sherlock Holmes & Related Fandoms
Genre: Johnlock - Freeform, M/M, Reichenbach Fall, sherlock POV
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-03-31
Updated: 2014-03-31
Packaged: 2018-01-17 16:27:18
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,026
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1394386
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/On_the_Side_of_the_Angels/pseuds/On_the_Side_of_the_Angels
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The reichenbach fall from sherlock's POV <br/>"The problem with genius is that it needs an audience. The straightforward is just so boring. I was drawn in by the beautiful complexity of the problem....The final problem... But I lost myself somewhere along the way and I let it get out of control."</p>
            </blockquote>





	Bleeding Out

**Author's Note:**

> First time writing in first person point of view so comments are always appreciated :)
> 
> Inspired by the song "bleeding out" by imagine dragons.

 

_When the day has come_

_That I've lost my way around_

_and the seasons stop_

_and hide beneath the ground_

I am so sorry that I have to do this to you. If I had known things would go this far, I would have done things differently. The problem with genius is that it needs an audience. The straightforward is just so boring. I was drawn in by the beautiful complexity of the problem....The final problem... But I lost myself somewhere along the way and I let it get out of control. 

 

* * *

 

Time slows down until it's almost standing still. I see the moment and I observe every detail. I see his finger: still on the trigger, sealing my fate as well as his with one small movement. I se the spark at the tip of the barrel, exploding into his mouth. I see the look of triumph still etched on his face, even as he holds the gun between his lips. And finally, i can see that I am completely powerless to stop it.

I reel backwards, almost falling. The sound of the gunshot explodes like thunder through my mind, shattering any hope I had of getting out of this just like the bullet is shattering his skull. His wide unblinking eyes stare up at me; his motionless face still contorted into a malicious grin.

_So if the last thing that I do_

_Is to bring you down_

I had really hoped it wouldn't come to this. I know it will hurt you but I swear there's no other way. 

Slowly, I walk to the edge of the roof and step up, carefully onto the ledge. I press the phone to my ear but I barely hear the ringing as I wait for you to pick up; dreading what I'll have to say when you do. 

"Hello?"

"John."

"Hey, Sherlock, you ok?"

I watch you from above, you're eyes are searching the street because you still don't know where I am. I hesitate for a moment, letting you keep your innocence for a little while longer because I can already imagine the fear that will take over your face once I tell you... But I need you to stay where you are; to see what you need to see. 

"Ok, look up. I'm on the rooftop."

"Oh, God."

And there's the look...my chest feels tight. I can barely breathe. But I have to do this. I have to keep going. 

"It's all true."

"What?"

"Everything they said about me.

I invented Moriarty."

I look back at the body, all but immersed in a pool of dark blood. His eyes are still open, mocking me. I take a deep breath.

"Nobody could be that clever."

"You could."

I can't help but let out a breathy chuckle. You've seen the true horrors of this world, and you still retain a special, unique innocence that amazes me. So loyal, right to the very end. I told you that there's no such thing as heroes. And I told you that if even if there were, I definitely wouldn't be one of them. But you still believed I was...until now. After I do what I'm about to do, there will be nothing left of your faith in me. The world will believe the lies Moriarty has fed them, but I don't care, as long as the truth of who I am persists in some small corner of your memory. A tear trails down my face and drips off my chin. I will miss you so much...my one true friend.

_Oh, you tell me to hold on_

_But innocence is gone_

_and what is right is wrong_

The world is grey today. Silvery clouds hang low in the sky. Weak sunlight filters through to reflect off the wet stones below. The emptiness screams at me, calling em out into the void. People like to tell me that I don't have a heart. I know for a fact they're wrong as I can feel it, right now, heavy in my chest, weighing my down. My whole body feels numb as I look into your eyes. Even from so far away, I can see the pain written there. And I know it's my fault. 

_When the sky turns grey_

_and everything is screaming_

_I will reach inside_

_Just to find my heart is beating_

"It's a trick. Just a magic trick."

I admit to everything. I tell you I'm a fake and a liar. I confirm the suspicions that people have held about me for years.

_So I bare my skin_

"This phone call -- It's...It's my note.

It's what people do, don't they --

leave a note."

I think of all the people this will effect. I'll be hurting everyone: Lestrade, Molly, Mrs.Hudson...But most importantly, you. I'm breaking your heart but I don't have a choice.

_And I count my sins_

The tears are flowing freely now; softly streaming down my cheeks as I fight for air. My throat and I can barely speak. I close my eyes as I attempt to breathe normally.

_And I close my eyes_

I savor these last few moments with you even if it is just over the phone. I listen to you breathe. I can hear the tightness in your throat as hot tears begin fill your eyes. I hear the sounds of London in the background, continuing on without us as if nothing is happening. I feel the cold wind blowing through my hair. It's ironic how the world is so calm, as if ignoring the turmoil we're going through. 

_And I take it in_

With me gone you'll be safe. Moriarty will have finally gotten what he wanted. Even in death, he wins. But you'll be safe and that's all that matters. The snipers will be called off. I will watch over you. No matter what, I will keep keep you safe. 

_With the darkness fed_

_I will be your scarecrow_

"Goodbye, John."

I drop the phone. I spread my arms. And I jump out into empty space.

_I'm bleeding out_

_I'm bleeding out for you_

_For you._

 

**Author's Note:**

> I didn't want a space between each line of the lyrics and show quotes but the formatting on this site was being a butt so this is the best I could do. Oh well.


End file.
